Do you know that only a small percentage – between 8% to 9% of patients – keep their cosmetic surgery a total secret from their partners or friends? With natural looking results available, it’s not as if everyone would instantly know you’ve had surgery. But it seems that most people today want to share their experiences – in person AND on-line. From what cosmetic surgery surveys, social media groups and chat rooms are telling us, MOST patients – or roughly 9 out of 10 individuals – openly TELL OTHERS about having cosmetic surgery.
Does everyone tell their new boyfriend or partner they’ve had plastic surgery (such as a breast enlargement)?
Not everyone who’s ever had surgery in the past will tell a new love interest or a long-term partner. And, in fact, some individuals might be so secretive they don’t participate in the cosmetic surgery surveys that indicate most people. So it could be higher. But most people DO.
- With anonymous survey participation, and from what we see in Melbourne, we believe it could be 90 out of 100, or higher, DO tell others about having had – or being about to have – cosmetic plastic surgery.
- Seems that patients are happy to tell new love interests (boyfriends or new partners) as well as family members and same-sex confidantes about nearly every type of surgery they may have HAD performed – with no holds barred.
- Even the potential exceptions, such as vaginal laser treatments or labiaplasty, are often openly discussed in online forums.
- And the photos – they are being shared nearly everywhere. Some even fully disrobed!
Very few people keep having cosmetic surgery a secret these days.
And with social media, it’s even harder to keep having surgery a secret, even if you wanted to.
But whether or not you decide to share your surgery experiences with a new boyfriend or partner – is entirely up to you.
However, cultural norms today see people openly discussing their surgery procedure(s), the reasons they had it done, the healing and recovery processes – and, of course – the surgery results.
Openly, with friends and partners. And even, it seems, with strangers around the world.
So when it comes to having a new love interest, MOST people DO tell their new boyfriends or partners if they have HAD – or are about to undergo – a surgery procedure.
- Plus, sharing of cosmetic surgery results with strangers via online forums also seems to be on-trend.
- More people than ever before are posting BEFORE & AFTER images or videos of their cosmetic surgery results on Instagram, Facebook and SnapChat.
So….how do you go about telling your new boyfriend or love interest about having cosmetic surgery?
And is there a difference in telling your partner about cosmetic surgery you have ALREADY experienced (such as a nose job or breast augmentation) – or a cosmetic procedure that you have planned sometime in the future (such as removal and replacement of your implants, or a tummy tuck after losing weight)?
Telling your new partner or boyfriend about having cosmetic surgery in the past.
When a new boyfriend (or a new partner) arrives on the scene, how DO you tell them – and if so, exactly when?
Cosmetic, Plastic or Reconstructive Surgery in the past: How to tell your NEW love interest you had a Breast Augmentation, Tummy Tuck or Rhinoplasty.
How to tell your new boyfriend or partner about your prior surgery – Top 10 Tips
The most important thing is to TRUST your own intuition and use your own judgement.
Depending on the surgery, here are some additional thoughts to consider when you’re wanting to tell your new boyfriend about having had cosmetic surgery.
- Some women tell their new partner they’ve had plastic surgery either BEFORE intimacy (sometimes as they’re undressing) OR when they are asked.
- Other women never bring up their past surgeries at all. There’s NO right or wrong – it’s up to each person to decide.
- If you DO tell your boyfriend about having cosmetic surgery, the TIMING of when you do so, is ALSO up to you.
- Don’t stress about the timing. If it comes up naturally in conversation, or you see a good segue opportunity to chat about having had your ‘boobs done,’ just trust your intuition.
- If your partner cares about you – and appreciates the way you look- it should never be an issue. If it IS an issue for them, or they don’t like the way you look – consider swapping him or her out for someone who does.
- Most people are more body-proud after surgery. They might even openly rave about what they’ve done, and how much they like it.
- Others simply let it slip into a conversation at different points in time.
- If they respond in a negative way, but you are personally happy with your results, evaluate their views as well as whether or not they’re a good partner for you in view of your lifestyle choices. If not, toss them out. Remember, surgery is a very personal decision.
- If you suspect your partner has strong views on the subject or maybe against elective surgery, then let him or her know HOW you felt BEFORE surgery and the difference AFTER having Surgery.
- Ask them if they LIKE the way they look (a smart new partner will, of course, say “absolutely”).
- Never let ANYONE make you feel bad about having chosen to have a bit of help looking the way you wanted to look (but equally, don’t let anyone else talk you INTO having a cosmetic surgery you don’t actually want for yourself).
IN other words, telling a partner is ALWAYS at your discretion, and your own timing – although there’s a chance you may be asked about it, especially if there are very visible scars, such as might be the case by a recent Tummy Tuck or Mummy Makeover.
People DO talk a lot about bodies, breasts and faces when they are dating. It’s natural.
If you had a breast augmentation procedure or very large breast implants, there MAY be some detectable indications that you had surgery.
- Most Plastic Surgeons aim for natural-looking results – but not all. And sometimes there are telltale signs of augmentation.
- Sometimes it’s a scar or a different feeling to the breasts (or a slightly firmer tone and less movement when you’re playing sports).
- Other times, you may be very thin, with very little body fat – yet have beautiful breast cleavage; leading a new boyfriend or partner to ask you about your breasts.
- Or perhaps you had a complication, or a change in lifestyle, and want them removed or replaced. Or perhaps you’re about to have a child together, unexpectedly, and are wondering about breastfeeding after having implants.
In newer relationships, you may even get asked if they are “real” (but don’t be offended, if you do get asked).
- The reason breast augmentation is so popular is because not all of us were born with the genes to have the cleavage we desired.
- And because so many women have augmented breasts, most men or partners over the age of 25 will have dated someone else, before you, who’s had breast implants – or at the very least, they will know someone else who has elected to have the same procedure.
Should you tell your new boyfriend or partner about having had a Rhinoplasty (nose reshaping surgery) in the past – or keep it quiet?
Again, it’s up to you.
Some people were really embarrassed by their noses before they had their noses reshaped. Others don’t want anyone to know.
But photos are everywhere, and you can rarely hide them all. There are bound to be earlier images of you BEFORE your surgery results left you with a profile you preferred.
So you can hope it never comes up, if you’re wanting to keep it secret – or you can mention it in passing. You can also let your partner know if it’s a sensitive subject for you, and tell them you’d rather not discuss it – but make sure you know your partner is sensitive about your feelings before you do so.
Will my partner know I’ve had cosmetic surgery such as getting breast implants or having a Rhinoplasty?
One of the times QUESTIONS come up about whether or not you have had cosmetic surgery, is when you and your new beau are looking at photo albums.
- It’s a bit revealing that, if you were very small-breasted in most photos, then suddenly started sporting beautiful cleavage in bikinis in the next photos, questions about HOW (or WHEN) that change occurred – could come up.
- Nose surgeries may be another occasionally blatant difference when it comes to photo comparisons.
- Maybe not initially. But if someone is comparing photos of you when you were younger, to how you look now – they might notice a difference. For example, it may be very evident you now have less of a bump, or a smaller nose, than you did in the past, because your BEFORE photos looked more like your Aunt Gertrude or Uncle Larry than how you actually look, at the present time.
- BUT – that said – a good Rhinoplasty surgery result WILL look balanced and mostly natural.
- It may suit your face so well that no one will know you’ve had it reshaped or corrected via Nose Surgery.
- That doesn’t mean that old photos of your before-surgery nose won’t show up somewhere – like on Facebook, or in your Granny’s photo album.
So you might want to prepare for the day when they figure out you’ve had surgery, even if you choose not to mention it at the current time.
Should I tell my new boyfriend about having had a Tummy Tuck or Breast Reduction?
A Tummy Tuck leaves a long incision line mark (a scar). Fraxel, Dermapen or Healite II treatments can reduce it, but it will still leave a mark – potentially even lengthy or wide. Even breast reduction surgery leaves visible scars beneath your nipples.
- Our team takes great care to reduce scar visibility where there are surgical incision lines, so that you can hide them below your pant waist-lines or below the belt line – or under a not-too-skimpy bikini.
- Breast Reduction scars, treated very carefully and using silicone strips, may fade to hardly noticeable.
- Facelift scars can be mostly hidden around the ear or neck or jawline for some individuals (but may show more for certain skin types).
- Just know that even hidden surgery scars WILL be noticeable to a very trained eye.
- Plus, it depends on your procedure, incision lines, skin type and healing capacity as to how visible these will appear.
If the scar is very fresh and you’re still healing (less than 12 months after surgery) then it will likely be fairly obvious you’ve had a Tummy Tuck, Breast Reduction, Body Lift or other procedure.
So if you’ve had very recent surgery, you may want to let your partner know in advance of an intimate moment, timing-wise.
If nothing else, this helps you avoid the awkward question of “what happened there?” in a moment when you’d rather be focusing on something else entirely!
- Most people who have an extensive incision line on their abdomen, breast or back WILL explain their scar to their partner before they show their body to them during an intimate moment.
- Sometimes they do so when their bathers slip below their scar line, and they see a questioning expression.
- Post-weight loss patients who chose skin reduction to reduce folds may have a lot of procedures done, and hence a lot of scars – arm reduction scars from Brachioplasty, for example, or back fat reduction scars.
- This may involve a discussion NOT only of the surgery procedure(s) you’ve had after losing weight but how much you lost – and how you lost it.
If you want to tell your new boyfriend that you’ve had cosmetic surgery, JUST be yourself, be casual and be real.
And know that someone who respects you and loves you WILL respect your decision in life – and want to understand the reasons.
They will also reassure you that you look amazing (and woe to those who don’t)!
Facial rejuvenation surgery, such as eyelid surgery, is something that some people openly discuss; yet others don’t mention.
- Why? It leaves minimal scars for many patients, so some simply don’t let on they’ve had it done.
- Some people don’t want to admit their age so they leave off they’ve had surgery to look younger – especially if they are dating a younger partner.
Should I tell my new boyfriend I’ve had LIPO?
Interesting, there is one procedure that not everyone mentions to their new boyfriend or partner. And that’s LIPOSUCTION.
Why is that?
- It’s because liposuction (or LIPO) leaves such minimal scars for most patients; tiny marks you’d likely miss even if you were looking.
- So with liposuction, it’s easier to disguise you’ve had anything done; versus a tummy tuck, which leaves a lengthy scar across the lower abdomen.
- Lipo marks are there, of course, but they tend to be somewhat insignificant for many patients (small and round and faded over time).
Reasons patients may choose NOT to mention they had liposuction body shaping to a new boyfriend or partner:
- it’s not as evident – there are fewer telltale signs (and smaller scars) compared to other procedures
- the results aren’t typically as dramatic a difference as they might be for nose reshaping, breast augmentation or a tummy tuck
- this means fewer questions are likely to be asked by partners, even when comparing photos from long ago to the present time
When it comes to liposuction photos, you might not see a huge difference in the BEFORE and AFTER PHOTOS (or not as much as you might for a major breast reduction or a skin fold reduction surgery after weight loss) – but remember, every patient varies, and some liposuction procedures can have a very positive, noticeable effect.
But when you’re telling a boyfriend about having had – or are about to have – Cosmetic Surgery, DON’T assume you know your boyfriend’s views on having cosmetic surgery; or his insecurities. Aim to get a sense of his personal views, beforehand.
Telling a new boyfriend about your Cosmetic, Reconstructive or Plastic Surgery Plans: Having Surgery in the Future
Our Team’s top tips about how to tell your partner or boyfriend about your plans to have surgery in the NEAR future.
But remember, NEVER choose to have elective surgery to PLEASE a partner. That goes for a long-existing spouse as well as a new boyfriend or partner or friend. Surgery is serious business, has risks, and results can vary. So be sure you’re doing it for YOU and no one else.
So you’re about to have a facelift or eyelid surgery procedure or have the breast augmentation (or breast reduction) you’ve always wanted.
How do you tell your new beau – and should you – that you’re about to have cosmetic surgery?
Again, just like cosmetic surgery someone may have had in the past, it’s up to each person as to what they reveal about their plans.
Should you mention it? It depends.
- Again, think it through.
- Trust your intuition and your judgement.
BUT if you’re dating a new partner or new boyfriend, and you’re having major surgery – you’ll be unavailable for normal activities as you heal and recover.
So surgery planned for the near FUTURE is often harder to disguise or hide, compared to cosmetic surgery you’ve had in the past – even if you wanted to.
Especially if it’s coming up in the first few weeks or months of your new relationship.
- Like most things in life, assess the person and the situation as an individual event.
- But DO recognise that honesty is usually a better option than making something up.
- And remember, if you later commit to this person for life (or a semblance thereof), and they find out you lied about where you were last winter – and why you took 2 weeks off from the relationship – they may question your honesty about other things.
Here are our top 10 tips for telling a new partner you’re planning to have cosmetic plastic surgery.
- First, a good partner will reassure you they like you the way you are.
- That’s lovely to hear and reassuring. But a new partner’s view doesn’t necessarily equate to your view.
- And that doesn’t mean you need to change your plans if you’re really committed to making a surgical change you’ve always wanted to have done (such as getting a facelift or neck lift, a tummy tuck or breast lift for a better cleavage).
- Second, telling the truth – rather than saying you’re going away on a pre-planned holiday – is often better in the longer term, because the best relationships are often built on honesty and trust.
- You might, however, want to pre-assess their views on healthcare, doctors and medicine. If a new boyfriend or partner is someone who distrusts the medical profession – and never, ever sees a doctor – then you might want to limit what you tell them in terms of actual detail – stick to the basics.
- If, however, they are someone you feel will be a big help to you as you heal – such as driving you to follow-up appointments or bringing you cups of tea as you recover – you might want to get them to read the SURGERY GUIDE for your procedure. This gives them more detail and will help them HELP you as you go through the process.
- You may want to bring them to a surgical consultation with you if they are supportive of your decisions; this could be helpful for both of you as you journey through the experience of surgery. Plus, it lets them meet your Plastic Surgeon.
- If you’d rather they didn’t see you at your worst during your healing and recovery state – potentially emotional, swollen, red and sleep-deprived – then get someone else to help you the first 4 to 7 days of healing. Let them step in as you reach week 2 or 3.
- If, however, they are culturally ingrained to be against cosmetic surgery in a huge way, simply try to explain how you feel – and why you’ve made your decision; but don’t go into a defensive mode.
- Remember, it’s their issue, not yours. And it’s your body, not theirs.
Still doing your research? Want to know more about journeying through a cosmetic surgery procedure?
Find out more by calling our Patient Care Coordinators today. Phone (03) 8849 1444 during clinic hours or send us an enquiry form (below).
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